Impeachment for nitwits

by Hernan S. Melencio

Sick of the times? Frustrated about what you see going on around you but could not make heads or tails of them, especially the vituperations of that lady senator on TV and the octogenarian gentleman copying her hairstyle?

Well, you’re not alone. I myself am confused and confounded. So I made some quick and shallow research to help me understand some of the things being mentioned by talking heads. I intentionally oversimplified some of them to help me in my quest for clarity.

This of course is not complete, but it’s a start.

Impeachment: The process resorted to by people who have grown tired of replacing their leaders via marches and rallies at EDSA. It’s a long, long process but hey, it’s more entertaining than That’s Entertainment or the usual soap opera we see on the telly.

The downside is ordinary people like you and me have no direct part in the prosecution but we can watch and send smart-alecky comments on twitter and Facebook.

The upside is, yes, we can send smart-alecky comments on twitter and Facebook against people in and out of the impeachment court that get our goats. All in the comfort of our room or office or toilet. No need to get hot and smelly attending street demonstrations.

Who’s being impeached? If you have been busy trying to make ends meet with the almost daily rise in oil prices and basic commodities, you are forgiven to have asked this question. It’s Chief Justice Renato Corona.

Why? It depends on who you ask. Aquino haters will tell you it’s about the Hacienda Luisita. They say he got pissed when the Supreme Court headed by Corona ruled – after a bit of flip-flopping – that hacienda land must be distributed to farmers and stock distribution is a no-no. So he gathered all his allies in the House of Representatives – which is the only body allowed to impeach a government official – to punish the guy for his impertinence.

Aquino supporters, on the other hand, will tell you Corona had it coming when he accepted a “midnight appointment” from her former boss Gloria Arroyo. He is Arroyo’s ticket to freedom, so it is imperative for PNoy’s anti-corruption gang that Corona be removed for the efforts to “put the little girl to prison” to succeed. It just so happened that 188 congressmen think the same way and they moved to impeach the guy.

There are other opinions out there, of course, but they are just variations of these two. Some people want the entire membership of Supreme Court to be impeached because they all participated in decisions being questioned, others warn of “judicial crisis,” etc., etc.

Whatever, there is no turning back. The senators have formed themselves into an “impeachment court” and called themselves senator-judges and wore the ridiculous red robes to prove they mean business.

Flexibility, technicality, liberality. Not anywhere like the French revolution’s fraternite, egalite and liberte, but I could not help thinking about it. Sorry. The “flexibility” and “liberality,” of course, are the things being asked by the prosecution of the senators. They just mean “don’t ask us too many questions or else this process will drag on forever,” which the senators and the defense are not willing to grant. The “technicality” issue is mostly addressed to Corona’s battery of “battle-tested” advocates who would engage into all sorts of nitpicking at the drop of a nit, er, hat.

OMG. This is what presiding officer Sen. Juan Ponce Enrile said upon hearing that the prosecution has lined up 100 witnesses.

OMG too. This is everyone’s reaction upon hearing that the rules adopted by the Senate allows only that prosecution finish presentation of evidence and witnesses from articles of impeachment one to eight before the defense gets to present theirs from one to eight also. The second week of the trial is almost over and they are not finished with one article yet. Hmmm…

Speed it up, people. There are many proposals to speed up the process. What I think the senators should do is to vote for a ruling once sufficient evidence of guilt is established in the heat of the trial. After all, as everybody is saying, this is not a real judicial trial and the punishment is just removal from office.

Discount is for candies, reduction is for penthouses. Tomahto, tomeyto

How dare you question my authority as a senator-judge! I move that we stop this colloquy right now. Nakakalokwi talaga itong mga kolokoy na ‘to. For Pete’s sake, don’t allow Maid Miriam to take the floor again or her blood pressure will shoot through the roof. I wonder what she’ll do when she gets to sit in that International Crime Tribunal.

Cash advance or loan? Potahto, poteyto.

All right, Sen. Lito Lapid had been sitting quietly in the corner for a long time it was big news when he asked his first question, in Tagalog of course. It was so surprising (the asking of question, not the use of Tagalog) Corona’s chief advocate Serafin Cuevas had a nightmare and tweeted that night: “He Englished me and cross-examined me, asking why I have such a cute hairline.” (I won’t be surprised if Cuevas denies ever saying that.)

Paano sumulat ng tula ng pag-ibig

Ayaw ni Bonifacio

Ni Hernan S. Melencio

BERTDEY ngayon ni Ka Andy Bonifacio, ang bayaning pinagtaksilan ng kapalaran at ng mga dating kakampi sa himagsikan laban sa mga Kastila.

Ang kataksilan ding ito umano ang dahilan kung bakit araw ng kapanganakan (Nobyembre 30, 1863) ang ginugunita natin bilang Bonifacio Day at hindi araw ng kamatayan (Mayo 10, 1897), di tulad ng Rizal Day na araw ng kamatayan ni Ka Joey Rizal (Disyembre 30, 1896) nung barilin siya sa Luneta.

Gusto kasing iwasan ng mga gumawa ng batas na alalahanin ng taumbayan na kapwa Pinoy at mga kasangga ang tumumba sa “Ama ng Himagsikan” tuwing darating ang araw ng paggunita sa kabayanihan niya. Bagay na may pagka-estupido dahil kapanganakan o hindi, laging kasama sa paggunita kung bakit at paano namatay si Bonifacio.

Alam ng lahat na si Ka Emil Aguinaldo ang nagpapatay sa kanya. (Kahit itinanggi ito ni Ka Emil na nagsabing gusto lang niyang ipatapon ang kalaban niya sa pulitika at si Hen. Nano Noriel ang nag-utos ng pagpatay, hindi pa rin maitatatwang tuta niya si Noriel at ito ang arkitekto ng pandaraya sa eleksyon sa Tejeros, Cavite kung saan si Ka Emil ang nahalal na pangulo ng Katipunan.)

Kumpara sa iba pa nating mga bayani, si Ka Andy na yata ang pinakakawawa. Hindi siya iginagalang ng mga burgis na may kontrol ng pamahalaan. May pagkakataong ginawang National Heroes Day ang Bonifacio Day at kamakailan lamang ito naging Bonifacio Day ulit matapos ang maraming reklamo. Aping-api rin siya kahit sa paglalagay ng imahe ng bayani sa pera. Noong may dalawang piso pang sensilyo noong 1980s, solo ang imahe ni Ka Andy, kaso tinanggal nila sa sirkulasyon ang dalawang piso at bilang konswelo de bobo, isinama ang imahe niya sa imahe ni Apol Mabini sa sampung piso. Maging ang kalsadang ipinangalan sa kanya e Boni Avenue na lamang ngayon.

Lagi siyang ikinukumpara kay Ka Joey, at kahit sa pagtuturo ng kasaysayan madalas iniiwasan ang maraming detalye ng kanyang buhay, lalo sa yung parte ng masalimuot na pulitika sa loob ng Katipunan.

Lagi ring minamaliit ang kakayahan niya at sinasabing isa siyang “bodegero” sa Tondo. Pero kung ihahambing mo sa trabaho ngayon, manager siya ng isang kumpanyang pag-aari ng isang Ingles. Hindi pipitsuging trabaho ito. Sa madaling salita, kabilang siya sa middle class.

Hindi rin matatawaran ang ginawa niya matapos dumalo sa kaisa-isang pulong ng La Liga Filipina na itinayo ni Ka Joey. Binuo niya agad ang Katipunan at nagtatag ng gobyernong rebolusyunaryo kasama ng sidekick niyang si Ka Emil Jacinto. Siya rin ang nagpasumpa kay Aguinaldo sa mismong bahay niya sa Tondo.

Kanya ang Tondo, kay Aguinaldo ang Cavite. Kaso, dahil sa Maynila nakasentro ang pwersa ng mga Kastila, mas mabilis na lumakas at dumami ang kasapian ng Katipunan sa Cavite. At ’ika nga sa Ingles, the rest is history. Nagkamali si Ka Andy na pumayag ganapin sa Cavite ang isang eleksyong niluto ng mga Magdalo. Matinding panlalait ang inabot niya at nang magreklamo e ipinahuli siya, nilitis ng isang kangaroo court at pinatay kasama ng mga kapatid.

Isang trahedya na hanggang ngayon ay hindi pa nagkakaroon ng kaganapan o “closure.”

Feisty priests allegedly hit, punch and shoot

By Hernan Melencio

We have heard of activist priests; even rebel priests. But pugnacious priests are rare.

However, recent incidents of Filipino Catholic priests figuring in scandalous outbursts have called attention to the conduct of the clergy in their dealings with lay people.

A priest, Father Ronnie Pillos of Dingras town in the northern province of Ilocos Norte, is now in hot water for reportedly punching a man in a cockfight.

Prior to that, three priests in the central Philippine region of Visayas were the subject of scandals. Father Jonathan Durano Lao of Danao City was arrested and jailed after allegedly shooting a criminology student by accident in February.

In March, Father Leopoldo Palacio Jr. of Cebu was accused of hitting an altar boy. Later, other altar boys complained him for alleged abuses.

Also in March, Father Wilfredo Genelazo of Cebu was accused of threatening a couple over a business matter. The priest admitted “cursing” the wife and her husband because they failed to pay him for the 45 pigs they bought from the priest’s family last December.

These incidents, of course, cannot be taken as a “trend” or even a worsening problem. Most of the cases were settled before they got to court.

But they certainly become an embarrassment as people expect these men of the cloth to “turn the other cheek.” (From http://blogs.ucanews.com/give-us-this-day/2011/06/16/)

May bukas pa

MARAMING taon na ang nakararaan, isang kongresista – na marahil ay laging iniindiyan ng kausap sa mga tipanan – ang nagpanukalang gawing “synchronized” o magkapanabay ang oras sa buong kapuluan.

Nakalimutan ko na kung sino siya o kung ano ang kinahinatnan ng panukala niya (mas malamang sa wala), pero sinisi niya ang pag-iral ng anarkiya sa oras sa pangit na reputasyon ng “Filipino time.”

Iba’t-ibang pamantayan ang ginagamit ng mga Pinoy sa kanilang appointments at nagkakaroon ng kaguluhan dahil may mga relong atrasado at may adelantado. Walang relong nagsasabi ng eksaktong oras – maliban sa sira o patay na relos.

Kung natupad ang panukala, iisang ahensiya lang ng gobyerno ang magtatakda ng oras at ito ang susundin ng lahat, mula Malakanyang hanggang barangay. At dalawang beses isang taon, sabay-sabay nating itatama ang mga orasan. Pati istasyon ng radyo at telebisyon ay susunod dito.

Kaya wala na sanang dahilan para sabihing: “Oy hindi pa ako huli, ha? Alas-dos na nga sa ‘yo pero ala-una pa lang sa relos ko.”

Kapag oras mo na’y oras mo na talaga.

Pero palagay ko’y hindi pa rin malulutas ng pagsasabatas ng orasan ang pagiging atrasado ng Filipino time, na ang ugat ay kultural o pag-uugali hindi ang pagkakaiba sa oras. Namihasa na tayo na ‘pag sinabing alas-diyes, alas-onse iyon sa tunay na buhay. At ang mga programa ay laging may pataan na oras para pagbigyan ang ganitong sistema ng Pinoy.

Ang ugaling ito’y hindi naman taal na Pinoy. Ito’y minana natin sa mga Kastila na mahilig magsiyesta mula tanghali hanggang dapithapon. Ginaya ito ng mga ninuno nating sosyal at inakalang magandang halimbawa sa mga kabataan.

Pero may pag-asa pa naman siguro tayo, merong mas malala sa atin: ang mga Arabo. Kung mahilig tayo sa “mamaya na”, ang mga Arabo ay mahilig sa “bukra insha’la” (o bukas na). Ang orihinal nito ay “bukra insha Allah” (o bukas kapag pinag-adya ng Diyos) pero naging “bukra insha’la” o simpleng “inshala” na lang ngayon.

Imagine, hindi lang bukas, kundi bukas “kapag pinahintulutan ng Diyos!” Jos ko po, e kung hindi pahintulutan ni Allah,e di ’ala ka nang magagawa? At ganyan nga ang nangyayari sa mga Kabayang naniningil ng sweldo at benepisyo sa amo. Sa Saudi, karaniwan lang sa mga opisina ng gobyerno ang pipila ka ng ilang oras at pagdating sa iyo’y sasabihing “bukra inshala,” sabay sara ng bintana.

At akala mo ang “bukas” nila ay talagang bukas? Manigas ka. Ang “bukas” nila ay pwedeng sa isang linggo, sa isang buwan o sa isang taon!

Ang isang bagay lang na mabilis sila’y sa pagsentensiya at pagpugot ng ulo ng mga kriminal. Luma ang sistema ng hustisya sa Pinas. Kaya kung babagal-bagal ang gobyernong Pinoy sa pag-aapela para sa mga nahatulang Pinoy, maiiwan sila sa pansitan.

Syempre, hindi lahat ng Arabo e ganun, tulad din ng hindi lahat ng Pinoy e huling dumarating sa usapan. Ikinahihiya rin nila ang ganoong kaugalian at gusto rin nilang magbago. Sana tayo rin.